I know it will take time, but I really miss my mama. I've wanted to pick up the phone and call her so many times this week. Which is CRAZY, because I was there when she died, and I was there when they closed the casket, and I was there when they buried her. Well, not her, but her body. And I know, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is in Heaven and that she doesn't hurt any more. So why do I still want to call her?
And on top of it all, I still have to deal with the here and now. The past month was so surreal, like it wasn't happening to me, that it was a dream or a movie of someone else's life. But now, I'm home and I have to deal with my life here, and I really don't want to. I want to be asleep.
Oi. I guess I'm just rambling, and venting. I know it will take time. I just like control and I'm not in control right now. I guess I've never been in control. God has the ultimate control, always has and always will. It comes back to trust and faith again. Maybe one day I'll learn.
